Colours of the Rain Read online

  She glanced at him. What was he up to? "What do you mean?" she said, slowly, cautiously.

  "I meant if you want more I could get them and you can just ask me to switch them when you are done."

  "Or I could just ask you to bring me back to the library when I read these."

  "Oh right, you could do that."

  She smiled at him. He was cute, odd but cute. He seemed nice enough, but she wasn't going to let her guard down just because he was helping her with some books. She looked at her book, pretending to read. She was really steeling her resolve not to get close to anyone. She would be leaving in a matter of months, having tired of being in the same place, having worn out her welcome in the city.

  She bit her bottom lip as she raised her eyes. He was looking at his book, his were hands shaking as he thumbed through the pages. Her resolve melted a little. "Thank you for getting me some books," she said, smiling at him.

  He lifted his gaze to hers and smiled back. He visibly relaxed. "No problem. Really."

  She pushed her books across the table to him. He picked them up and stood. They walked silently to the front desk, where she waited by the door, while he had his card ran through and the books marked under his name.

  "I promise to return them on time," she said, as they walked out the door.

  "It's okay."

  She stopped to take the books from him and stuff them in her bag. "Oh no, I forgot to check my e-mail," she said suddenly. "All the excitement of the books. Do you mind?"

  He shook his head, trying to peer at her.

  He followed her back into the library, as she strode quickly and confidently to the computers. He sat at another and looked at the log-in screen. She watched him, waiting to see if he would log in. He didn't.

  Ocean shrugged and logged into the computer then her e-mail. She sent a quick message to her family, giving them a short update on where she was. She never gave them any identifying information on where she was.

  She e-mailed them once a month to tell them she was alive. She had been gone for about three months from her family, when she realized how worried they likely wore. She decided that letting them know she was alive and some brief details on her life now was the best path for her.

  At first she e-mailed weekly when she had time. Her family messaged her back, demanding to know where she was and what she was doing. At first she refused, but eventually she stopped answering their questions with refusals. She finally decided that once a month was enough contact and they eventually accepted the little contact they got.

  She watched Terin as she typed. Paranoid he would get up and try to see what she was doing on her computer. Without checking her typing, she sent off the e-mail. "There that's done for the month," she said as she logged off the computer.

  "Month?" Terin asked.

  "I send one e-mail, once a month on the tenth day. Today."

  "Why?"

  "So, someone knows that I'm not dead."

  "Okay." He furrowed his brow, trying to assimilate this information about her.

  She turned and walked away. He caught her quickly. "You really should tell me sometime what topics I'm allowed to ask about."

  "I'll make up that list and give it you tonight." She grinned at him. She wondered if he was serious. Probably not, she decided, but she might write the list to tease him.

  "So what now?" he asked, as they stood in the park outside the library.

  "Now we part ways. No wait, how can I get a hold of you if I need another fix." She patted her bag, reassuring herself that the books were really in there.

  "Well, come on, I'll take you by my apartment and you can see where I live. I don't have a phone or anything. Otherwise, you can find me at my work."

  She nodded, swallowing. Going by his apartment, even just on the outside seemed risky. She hesitated, thinking about removing the books from her pack and leaving the city immediately.

  Her heart raced and her voice got caught in her throat. She forced the fear down as she looked at him. "Okay."

  They had walked a little way when she stopped. "You can't accuse me of having secrets. There are things you don't talk about."

  "You are very right. There are things I don't like to talk about. But it doesn't mean you can't ask me."

  "Can I ask you about your family or who you've been in love with or what your dreams are? Without you getting upset?"

  "I won't get upset. I will just decline to comment."

  She smiled a little.

  He was looking at her expectantly.

  "I'm not going to ask anything. I refuse to pry into your life."

  He shook his head. "Were you always so fearful?"

  "Nope. I used to be very trusting, but living on the street has made me hard." She scrunched her face into a comical sneer. He laughed and she joined in.

  "Well, that you rarely smile or laugh or relax, makes the moments when you do much more rewarding and exciting."

  She looked away from him. Her face heated with a deep blush. Her heart was thrilled. It had been many years since she got a compliment that had nothing attached to it. No deeper motive to try to get something from her. He just wanted to be with her.

  The thought made her suddenly fearful. He wanted to be with her and she wanted to spend time with him. This meant a growing attachment, something she had ran from for so long. She promised herself after she was done with the books she had borrowed from the library that she would have no more contact with him, even if it meant she had to move ahead of schedule. She did a quick mental tally of the money she had, it would be tight and she might have to spend a bit of time outdoors, but she could get out in a few weeks.

  She smiled, having settled the anxious thoughts running around her mind.

  "What are you thinking of?"

  "Returning to read my books."

  He looked at her for a moment more. Then shrugged. She breathed a sigh of relief.

  The walk from the library to his apartment took about twenty minutes. He finally stopped in front of a brick building and pointed up. "This is me."

  She nodded, making a mental note of the address. "I'm in apartment 407."

  "407," she echoed. "Okay I got it."

  "I'd ask you in. But that seems a little creepy."

  "Very creepy."

  They stood silently on the sidewalk, looking at each other. The silence grew uncomfortable, as much as she liked to look at him.

  "I should go," Ocean finally said, stepping backward. She thumped in the street sign behind her. She giggled. She didn't really want to leave his company, but she had no reason to stay.

  He nodded, looking helpless. She smiled. "Thank you for the books."

  "Your welcome. Books are important."

  "They are."She smiled and turned. Then she stopped and turned around again. "What are you doing tomorrow?" Her voice squeaked.

  He was facing away from her, searching his pockets for his keys. "I work tomorrow evening again. No plans for tomorrow."

  "Do you want to get a drink or something? To eat I mean."

  "He smiled as he turned to her. "I'd like that. What time?"

  "Same time?"

  "Yeah, same time."

  "Good." She had a huge smile on her face, as they looked at each other. A lump formed in her throat as she smiled at him. He was smiling back just as much. "See you tomorrow," she called over her shoulder. She almost skipped away from him.

  Back at the hostel she threw herself onto her bed, hugging her pack to her chest. After a few minutes of basking in the feeling of connection, she opened her bag. She withdrew one of the books and settled herself on the bed to read.

  For the next few weeks, Ocean and Terin spent their spare time together. They ate lunch together. He introduced to her to his friends in the square. Ocean finished her books from the library within a week and was immediately whisked back to the library for more.

  Slowly, Ocean was relaxing her guard around him. He noticed that she was less jumpy. She was more willing
to laugh and joke. More often, she was smiling spontaneously. She even touched him casually on occasion.

  Terin decided to save so he could take her to a nice restaurant. Something where they had to wait more than five minutes for their food. It took him a month to get a sum of money. It wasn't much, but it was something.

  They were sitting in the square when he asked her. "I have next Friday off. I was wondering if you wanted something real to eat. At a nice restaurant."

  She tilted her head, looking at him for a moment. "I'm not sure I have anything to wear."

  "Wear whatever. Who cares? It won't be fancy. But I'd like to take you for a treat."

  "A date?"

  "No. Not a date."

  A smiled crossed Ocean's lips. Terin slumped his shoulders. He didn't want to name it a date, he was sure that Ocean wouldn't join him if they called it that.

  "Yes."

  "It's not a date, Ocean."

  "I said yes, Terin."

  "Oh."

  She laughed. Her hands gripping her bag between her legs. She threw her head back and laughed. It was the first time she had laughed like that. Freely He wanted to hug her. He wanted to hold her close. He wanted to feel her in his arms, against his body. He squeezed his eyes shut trying to let go of the desire.

  She sobered quickly and wiped her face. She took a few deep breaths, still chuckling. "I'm sorry. You just should have seen the look on your face."

  He tried to look indignant. But when faced with her smiling face, he couldn't help but beam back at her. "I didn't except you to say yes."

  "Well, I guess we can both be surprised. I didn't think you'd ask."

  "There it is. So next Friday. How about seven o'clock?"

  "Sure. I'll dress up in my best clothes. Maybe I'll see if I can get something fancy."

  "Don't spend money on my account."

  "You're spending the money to take me out. The least I can do is get a nice shirt."

  He was pacing in front of her. He pulled his hands out of his back pockets and sat next to her, so his thigh was touching hers. "I love to make you smile."

  She smiled and nudged him with her shoulder.

  Since becoming friends with Terin, Ocean had let down her guard and started talking to her co-workers. She had become quite good friends with another girl on her shift, Becky.

  The day after Terin asked her out, Ocean excitedly told Becky of the impending date. "I was wondering if you might have a shirt or something I could borrow. I don't have any nice clothes. I'll be really careful."

  Becky smiled at her. "OF course you can. How about on Saturday before work, you come over and you can look through my closet?"

  "Sure. Thank you." Ocean felt relieved that she would have something nice to wear.

  Saturday morning, she was nervous before heading to Becky's. She gripped in her hand the well-worn piece of paper on which Becky had scribbled her address. Becky was a part-time community college student and she still lived with her parents.

  Ocean had to take two buses to get to Becky's. She hesitated once she was on the front porch. After a quick jog around the block, Ocean finally found the courage to knock on the door.

  Her heart pounded as she waited for someone to answer. Or maybe no one would answer. Her heart leapt into her throat. Becky told her the time and place and what buses to take. She would be there, Ocean reassured herself.

  The door was opened by a boy of about thirteen. "Is Becky here?" Ocean asked.

  The boy turned and yelled, "Becky," then he walked away leaving the door open.

  Ocean frowned and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. She waited, looking at the empty hallway waiting.

  Becky turned the corner with a smile. "Sorry for the greeting. Come on in."

  Ocean took her shoes off and put them aside then followed Becky to her room.

  Becky threw open her closet. It was a small closet, but it was full of clothes. Ocean gasped. She once had a closet like this. Full of clothes. But living out of her pack for the last six years had changed her view of material things.

  "Wow." Ocean fingered the material of a shirt. "I feel like a kid in the candy store. I used to have clothes. But this is wonderful. Thank you for sharing."

  "You can take some things if you want. For keeps I mean. I am spoiled in clothes. I used to spend a lot of money on clothes."

  "Me too."

  "Well, you have a date to dress for, let's get to work."

  Ocean shared a smile with her newfound friend. She wanted to cheer. But she only smiled before turning to the closet.

  She and Becky left a few hours later at the same time. Ocean had tossed two wornitems from her bag. She replaced it with three shirts, a pair of pants and a skirt in her bag. Becky tried to get her to take a pair of shoes as well, but Ocean had refused, saying that there was no room for them.

  After searching through Becky's closet, where Ocean tried on at least half the clothing, she felt exhausted. Now she had to face a busy evening at work. But she was exhilarated as well.

  The supper rush went by quickly. The lull after was welcome to Ocean who had been on the front lines, taking and filling orders. She was leaning on the counter, chatting with Becky and another girl while they cleaned. The door rang and she turned to the customer.

  A big smile crossed her face and she felt her heart leap with joy. "Terin," she exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" She leaned over the counter.

  "I was looking for a place to eat with some good-looking girls behind the counter. I was told there was at least one here."

  "Oh is this him?" Becky asked.

  Ocean blushed and turned to Becky. "Yes." She smiled at Terin.

  Becky hustled up to the counter. "So I've heard much about you. Becky." She offered her hand.

  Terin shook her hand. "I've heard some about you too. You stole my day with the girl."

  "She was just doing some preparation for you."

  Ocean laughed, watching the verbal sparring match between them.

  "Do you really want something to eat or did you just miss me?" Ocean asked.

  "Both. But I was hoping you had a break or something coming up so I could sit with you."

  Ocean smiled. Becky and the other girl, oohed. "Go for your break," Becky told Ocean.

  "Thanks," Ocean said, gratefully. "Wait here, I'll get us something for a good price." She flashed a smile at Terin then disappeared into the back.

  She stuck her head in the kitchen. "Any screwups?" she asked. "Leftovers. Something I can have?"

  "Always," one of the cooks said. He pointed to a corner by the grill where the rejects went. She picked up two and got some fries on a plate.

  "Thanks."

  She filled her cup with some pop. "Screwups," Ocean said to Becky as she walked out from behind the counter. She took her hat off and took Terin to a corner. She wasn't supposed to eat in the restaurant during her shift, but it was quiet and no one would know.

  She sat across from him in a booth. Her heart was pounding and she looked at him, wondering if he could hear it.

  "How was your day?" she asked.

  "It was okay. Boring. You?"

  "Good. I wish I could tell you exactly how good. But you will have to wait for that."

  "Damn it. How much do I owe you for the supper?"

  "Nothing. We get them free."

  "Ocean, I can't do that. I don't work here."

  "Accept or I'll break the date."

  "You can't keep holding that over my head."

  "I can until next Friday."

  He slumped his shoulders and opened his burger. "Fine. Tell me about what you're wearing."

  "Nope. If you can't wait you shouldn't have made the date so far in advance."

  "It was the only time we both had off."

  Ocean grinned. "I know. And I'm going to have fun with it."

  He smiled at her. "Thank you for the burger."

  "Your welcome. Thanks for coming to see me."

  Under the table, sh
e rubbed her foot against his leg. He looked at her, the question in his eyes. She pressed harder. He lifted his foot and touched her leg with it. She giggled.

  She heard Becky laughing and looked toward the counter. Becky looked away from them. Ocean smiled.

  The meal was over too fast and Terin departed, a quick brush of Ocean's cheek.

  Ocean was glowing when she returned. She cleared off her tray, walking on air. She could barely concentrate on customers for the next hour.

  "Ocean's in love," Becky mentioned while they were in the back, sneaking fries.

  "I am not. I haven't had friends in six years. It's just novel to me."

  "Someday you'll tell me exactly why you've been that way for six years right?"

  "Maybe."

  "That fact aside, you are totally in love with him."

  "No. I'm not."

  "Mmmhm. You should go look at your face. You're giddy with it."

  "Infatuation."

  Becky shook her head, walking away. "Love. You can admit it."

  Ocean crossed her hands over her chest. She and Terin were just friends, she would be leaving next month as she planned when she arrived in the city. It was nice to have friends and she would keep in touch with him, but there was no attachment.

  Ocean woke early on Friday morning. The hostel was quiet still and the sun was over the horizon when Ocean got up and read some of her current novel. Then she had a shower and got dressed. She looked at her watch, in twelve hours she was having supper with Terin. What was she going to do all day? Most of her days off were spent with him. Since she was spending her evening with him, would he want to see her today too?

  She got some breakfast before heading for the square. It was empty. Sighing, she decided to just walk around for a while.

  Forty minutes later she found herself outside of his apartment building. "This is silly, Ocean," she said to herself. "Completely silly."

  She forced herself to walk back to the hostel. The place was busy. She sat on her bed and read for a long time. In the late afternoon she got herself a snack at the store on the corner, the one were Terin worked.

  She tried to get a nap in later in the day, but was too keyed up to do so.