Second Chance Romance Read online

  An hour later, as he was playing video games, he moved from annoyance with her, into annoyance with himself. He shouldn't have lost contact with her all those years ago. He should have kept track better. He shouldn't have left.

  He dropped the controller on the floor. That thought warranted some thought. Which was the greater life goal: marrying your dream love versus having your dream career?

  He ran his hands through his hair. His train of thought was pointless. It wasn't as if he decided Mandy was more important he could go back and change what had happened. He'd taken this path. Maybe it wasn't the perfect one. God knew he'd had his bad years.

  Especially in the romance department. He'd dated, but being traded every few years wasn't conducive to making a lasting relationship.

  He turned off his gaming console. Truthfully his lifestyle was an excuse. No, he wouldn't think about all the stupid, mother fucking what ifs now. He checked the clock, he had an early skate in the morning, but he wasn't tired.

  Wandering around his new house, he felt lost. He had all the toys he could buy. The four bedroom house was fully furnished with only the best. He had hired an interior decorator, trained in Feng Shui, so all his Chi flowed the right directions and the colours didn't clash. He had spared no expense in making his new house a home.

  He hadn't moved into a home of his own before. When he was traded to Calgary, he suddenly felt the urge to settle in somewhere. A place he could return to, retreat to on his few off days and during the summer. The off-season. He wasn't sure why this city felt like home, but it had since his arrival. So after careful searching he bought a house that he truly liked, decorated it, and filled it with new things. Everything he'd dreamed of having.

  As far as things went, he wanted nothing. Kips dad had given Kip anything he wanted, as long as he played well on the ice. His performance was never an issue. He had several cars, all the latest video games, top-of-the-line hockey equipment. And Mandy.

  Sometime in a preteen or an early teen season, at a tournament, both the team's goalies were out sick and he'd been stuck in on a whim. On the promise they'd switch goalies every game so it was fair, because none of them were goalies. Win after win, he'd shown an aptitude for the position and had stuck there, despite his skill as a forward.

  Kip was happy as a goalie. He had a natural skill for it and he didn't have to work his ass off to make his father happy. He played on provincial champion teams and travelled throughout Canada, playing the game he loved.

  After he graduated, he had an offer to play in Saskatoon for the Blades. At the time he was in love with Mandy, and she planned to attend the University in Saskatoon, so he followed her. For a year, they played house. It was in Saskatoon that he was scouted and ultimately drafted to the NHL.

  He hesitated upon hearing the news. He'd always dreamed of playing professionally. He also had dreamed of marrying Mandy. Suddenly, he was torn between two worlds. Mandy, being mature beyond her years, sat him down. "You have to sign, Kip. You have to play hockey."

  "I want to. I really do. But not if I have to leave you. Come with me. Go to school out East, wherever I play."

  She shook her head, hiding her sadness. She always hid that. Even the first day they met; she hid her sadness. "We have to." She swallowed hard. He watched her throat move. She had to clear her throat before she could continue, "We have to let go. We have to grow up. We have to do somethings for ourselves. Maybe it's the way it's meant to be."

  He rubbed his eyes, wishing he could hide his tears. He grabbed her and hugged her hard. "We have a few months before you have to go. Let's enjoy that. And we'll meet again. If it's meant to be, we'll be together again."

  He kissed her as the tears streamed down their faces. He picked her up and carried her to their bedroom. What would be her bedroom in a matter of months. He undressed her slowly, kissing and licking the skin as it was exposed. He teased her with his hands and his mouth until she was squirming under him, begging him. He guided his cock into her, taking them to a spiraling climax together.

  He kissed her, as they held close in the aftermath. He whispered to her how much he loved her and how he would always love her.

  He thought the sadness was erased. When it returned, he realized it was only pushed aside. It would always be there if an end date had been set.

  It would always be there as long as they were apart.

  Now in his empty house, Kip lay on his empty bed. He never let anyone else into his house or into his bed. However many other women he fucked, and there were a number. Many women were keen to be with a hockey star. He never let anyone else into his heart.

  That's why it mattered so much he learn where Mandy was in her life. As long as he never settled with another woman, he could hope to be with Mandy again someday.

  Kip stared at the ceiling, feeling half-hard from the memory of making love to her, stunned with the knowledge that he still loved Mandy. Or he thought he still loved her. Was it real love? Or was it a stupid feeling left from high school? Was that real love or puppy love?

  Why couldn't he move on?

  He'd avoided asking himself those questions for a very long time.

  It was eleven years ago, that part of his life was as meaningless as the hockey he'd played then. He was in love with a ghost. He was no longer eighteen-years-old and thirty-year-old Mandy was not his Mandy. Even if he did find her, she was no longer the girl who would be his forever.

  * * * *

  Mandy tapped her fingers lightly on home row of the keyboard. A week that stupid friend request remained pending. A week. It was starting to creep into all areas of her life. She even dreamt about it last night, which was why she was sitting at the keyboard at 5:45 AM, waiting for the computer to boot.

  She logged into stupid Facebook and clicked send message. She decided to go with a casual message.

  Hey Kip

  It's nice to hear from you again. What are you doing these days? Besides the obvious that is. I've caught a few of your games on television. Hope to hear from you soon - MG

  She didn't have a choice now that she'd sent that message. She chose the option to accept his request. She buried her head in her hands, what was she thinking. With a deep sigh she typed his name into Google and clicked the first link that popped up, a news item. He'd recently been traded. To Calgary.

  Fuck. She lived an hour north of the city. Far within visiting distance. In fact, they visited Calgary frequently, with the zoo and the amusement park in the area. She would have to start travelling to Edmonton for shopping trips and convince Colton that the attractions in Edmonton were better.

  She propped her head on her hand and stared at his picture that accompanied the article. It wasn't an action shot from a game; it was from a press release. His hair-line receded slightly. He wore a goatee these days. A new development from the last time she'd seen his picture.

  She cringed when the keyboard slammed shut. Another Monday morning. Time to get showered and dressed.

  When she returned to the living room she found Colton at the computer desk. "Who is this guy?" he asked, pointing at Kip's picture.

  "Someone I used to know," she said, "Go get showered Cole."

  "Does he play hockey? Like in the NHL?"

  Mandy frowned, when did her son pay any attention to hockey. "I suppose yes. He was traded to Calgary a month ago."

  "Oh, Mark is a big Oiler's fan. I thought you could get us tickets or something." He opened a new browser window and typed in his favorite game site.

  Mark was Colton's new best friend. Mandy wasn't sure about the friendship, as she knew very little about this new boy. "I see. Well, it doesn't matter. I haven't talked to him in eleven years. I doubt I'll be asking him any favours. Go shower, please. No wait, tell me what you want for lunch."

  After his shower, his focus remained on Kip and hockey. Not something she wanted to discuss when the sun had barely risen. "How do you know this guy anyway?"

  "I knew him in high school. Eat your breakf
ast. I don't have time to talk about this now."

  "That's so cool. You went to school with a guy who plays in the NHL. I can't wait to tell the guys at school about this."

  "I thought you liked soccer."

  "Nah, the guys aren't into that anymore."

  "Colton, you don't have to like something because your friends are into it. And don't expect that you'll play hockey."

  "Geez Ma. You're grumpy this morning."

  Mandy sighed, looking at her bowl of porridge. "You're right. I didn't sleep well."

  "Don't take it out on me."

  That made Mandy smile. It had been her and Colton for six years.

  For two years after Kip left, Mandy didn't date. Eric was the brother of a fellow teaching student. They met when Eric came to Saskatoon for a visit during his days off from his job on the oil rigs. He was handsome and rich and he lavished attention on her as if Mandy was the first woman he had seen in weeks, maybe even months.

  He persisted in his affections when he went back to work, with phone calls. And sending flowers. The next time Eric came to town it was to see Mandy, who gave in and slept with him almost immediately. He stayed at her apartment until he returned to work. The sporadic contact relieved Mandy as she still reeled from Kip's departure.

  Six months into the affair, worry set in. She was late. She tried to hide her worries from Eric when he called. But the weeks passed too quickly and she feared her menstrual period would never return. After a visit with her doctor, she cried herself to sleep. She wasn't supposed to be pregnant with anyone's baby, anyone except Kip.

  How often in those last months together had she wished to get pregnant? Not so Kip would stay, but so she would have a piece of him

  Shaking, in the dim light of the kitchen stove, Mandy dialed Eric's number. He wasn't available. She left a message that he was to call no matter the time. Mandy lay in the fetal position, wrapped in one of Kip's old sweaters. She hadn't heard from Kip in two years. He'd kept in touch at first, later she insisted on a clean break. For him, she reminded herself, as the tears came again. She wished she could call him, but now, pregnant with another man's child, that door had closed.

  The phone rang, jarring Mandy. She sniffed, and cleared her throat, as she tried to remove any evidence that she'd been crying. "Hello?" No such luck on the deceit.

  "Mandy, they said it was urgent."

  "It wasn't. Cripes, Eric, I'm pregnant."

  "And it's ... I mean. No."

  "Yes," she sniffed, and reached for another tissue.

  "Marry me."

  "What?"

  "Marry me. I mean it Mandy. I know we haven't been together that long. And there's the whole. Never mind. We'll be a family."

  "I can't get married. I still have a year left of university. I can't have a baby." The tears flowed again, freely this time.

  "Mandy, don't make any decisions now okay. I'll get some days off. I'll come down so we can discuss this. I'm shocked, but in a good way. You know. It'll be okay. We'll work it out. Okay?"

  He sounded so strong and confident. So much more than his twenty-five years. She didn't have the energy to do it alone. She took the support he offered. "Okay, Eric. Not marriage, I mean. But let's do this baby together."

  "Okay. Great babe. I'll call you when I know I'll be coming. It'll only be a few days. You'll see."

  Mandy turned on all the lights in her apartment after the phone call. She packed everything that was Kip's into a box. She taped the box shut. As she put the box in the back of her closet, she closed her eyes and let the finality wash over her. A deep sadness, but also, release. She could move on.

  She looked at her bed, now void of blankets. She still used the blankets she and Kip shared. The same pillows, the same everything. She threw everything out. She had to start over with Eric.

  It took an extra year of school part-time to finish her degree. She finished a fully certified teacher. That box of Kip's belongings, small things he'd left and mementos she'd saved from their relationship, remained in the back of Mandy's closet. She always meant to throw it out, but she couldn't manage to do it. It moved from place to place with her, but remained unopened.

  "Mom, why are you crying?" Colton broke into her thoughts.

  Mandy rubbed at her eyes, suddenly aware the old memories made her tear up. "I was thinking about how happy your dad and I were, when we found out we were going to have you. It made me a little misty eyed." Crap, her makeup would run. She'd have to redo her face.

  "I'm sorry when you feel sad."

  "This wasn't sad. This was happy."

  Colton didn't reply. He put his bowl and spoon in the dishwasher. Mandy stood and hugged her still young son. He was wise beyond his years sometimes, leaving her unnerved when he read beyond what she told him.

  "Come on babe, get your backpack packed."

  "Troops move out," Colton ordered, standing ramrod straight. He made a quick salute and marched off to his bedroom. It made Mandy laugh. Colton threw a smile over his shoulder. He knew exactly how to change her mood.

  Chapter 3

  Kip entered his hotel room. Another hotel in another city, and another game played. In his case, another game watched. He was the new guy; he had to prove his worth if he were to start a game. And the front-runner was on a hot streak, no need to break that.

  Kip pulled his laptop out of its protective case. He hadn't been home in nearly a week. So much travel time put in. Ice time, dry land, media coverage. When he stood back and looked at his life, he felt his head spin a little.

  After he plugged into the hotel's free high-speed Internet, he checked his e-mail. He felt his heart skip a few beats when he saw: your friend request has been accepted. He had only one pending. Mandy Green. Oh, she had sent a message as well. He nearly clapped his hands like a giddy school-girl.

  It was a casual message. How are you? What have you been doing all these years? Saw some of your games.

  Well, good to know, she'd been thinking about him during the ensuing years, even a little.

  He found little information about her current life via Facebook. She rarely updated her status, he didn't recognize any of her friends. She posted only one picture, it looked like a school photograph. She was a schoolteacher, fourth grade. She didn't even have an exact location, only that her network had been set to Edmonton, which wasn't useful information. She was in Alberta though. That held promise for him.

  He pushed away from the computer. His mind raced with unanswered questions and the many things he wanted to say to her. Not one appropriate thing came to mind. He got a water bottle from the fridge and emptied it in one swallow.

  He felt keyed up as he paced the length of his room. He considered of taking advantage of the hotel's fitness room. Suddenly, all those missing years of emotions welled inside him.

  Mandy, he stared at her picture. She had short hair now. Her face seemed wider than he recalled. But the head shot she posted.

  He grabbed his room key. He needed to expend some energy. At the door he changed directions and put on a bathing suit instead. He headed downstairs to the hot tub, with any luck it would be empty. He checked his watch; it was late locally, but still early in the team's regular time zone.

  He cursed himself. Depending on luck was stupid, especially in his line of work, and especially given how things were going for him lately.

  No surprise. His luck hadn't changed. Three guys from the team occupied the space. They'd seen him coming so he couldn't turn around and make a different decision. He eased himself into the hot water.

  Talk was about the game, the one that night, last week, next month, it all seemed the same to him. It was often exciting as hell. He travelled, saw different places, and played a game he loved for a shit load of money.

  But other times, tonight for instance, it was exhausting and slightly shallow. Most of what he saw were arenas, hotel rooms and the occasional bar. He missed having someone to return to at the end of the day. He hadn't had that someone since,
well, Mandy.

  Fuck, why was he dwelling on her now? He hadn't given her much thought in eleven fucking years.

  Eleven. He hated that number.

  He faked a yawn and lifted himself from the water. "All the hot water has made me suddenly tired. Think I'll head it in."

  "Aww come on," Corey Porter said, "join us for a drink."

  "No, thanks guys. Watching you play has worn me out." He smiled, hoping they wouldn't take it as an insult to them or Lundin.

  "Sooner or later Lundin will be off this hot streak and you'll have a chance to show us up," Kyle McLachlan said.

  "I'm not stranger to being the new guy." Kip wrapped his towel around himself. "Have a good night." He lifted his hand over his shoulder in a good night gesture. Corey and Kyle still protested, but Kip kept moving.

  Back in his room, he sat in front of his computer, and hit the reply button.

  Hi Mandy,

  The past eleven years have flown by. I'm very well. I was recently traded to Calgary and bought my first house in the city. Still single. Nothing too exciting. I've done a lot of travelling over the years. What about you? Where are you living? I bet you're married with a gaggle of kids in your house, and win the hearts of all your students. I am on the road right now, we have one more game before we return home. I'll be thankful to have some time off in my house. Thanks for writing. I hope to hear from you soon. -KT

  Kip hit the send button before he lost his nerve. He browsed around the social networking site for a few more minutes, saying a quick hello to his sisters. He closed the browser window and tapped his fingers on his keyboard, begging sleep to come.

  He sat on his bed and pulled the little box from his suitcase on the floor. He lifted the top off and set it to the side.

  On top sat a folded piece of paper. Rather worn out from years of his unfolding and refolding. He lifted it out and read the words, pretending she was standing over his shoulder whispering the words into his ear.

  He refolded the paper and set it carefully in the lid. The pictures were next. He handled them carefully, only touching the edges. The first was their graduation picture, the professional one. Mandy in a stunning red dress that hugged her curves, he wore a black suit. Then some friends and family had snapped on that day. He pulled out the picture of them standing in front of the apartment they shared, which had been taken on move-in day.