Where She Belongs Page 7

  “You don’t want to stay, do you?”

  She laughed and closed her eyes. “God, no.” She pushed back from the desk and moved to the sofa in the corner. “I’d miss you too much. Not to mention my job and the city. I’m not cut out to stay here.”

  “Good, I’d miss you too and I really don’t want to move there.”

  “I know, baby. Do you know what I miss most?”

  “Your car?”

  She snorted. “No, the feel of your body against mine while we make love. Not getting any is starting to get to me.” That had to be the explanation, right?

  “Oh yeah, me, too. I really miss your body.”

  She smiled, trying to ignore his tone. Trenton didn’t like to discuss sex, he thought it was crass. “Good.”

  “So, can I send you some stuff I need you to look at for me? You said you only worked a few hours a day.”

  “I guess. I’m not feeling great today. Is it okay if I get back to you in a couple of days?”

  She could hear him typing. “I’m sending you one now– that they want right away. The rest can wait. I’ll have it all to you tonight.”

  Her words weren’t important apparently. “Oh, okay. I guess I can do that. Is it just grammar and spelling, or do you want full content?”

  “The usual magic you do, Shanna.”

  “Okay. I’ll call you tonight then.”

  “Thanks. babe. It should be in your in-box by now. I’ll talk to you soon.”

  “I am at work and my dad might be getting out of the hospital today. Thanks for asking.” She said it to the silence. She sighed and set the phone on the desk.

  “He’s using you,” Gabe said. She looked up and saw him leaning against the doorjamb. How did he look so good in his jeans when she felt like such crap?

  “You know nothing about our relationship, so don’t even start with me.” She stretched her legs onto the sofa and leaned her head back. “My fucking head won’t stop pounding.”

  She heard the papers in his hands rustle as he set them on the desk. “Have you drank any water today? I should have pushed some on you last night.”

  “I think I had enough pushing from you last night.” She knew it wasn’t true, but she was pissed off.

  “Don’t shoot the messenger.” When she opened her eyes, he was looming over her.

  “Like you aren’t using me.” She glared at him.

  He bent again, his face close to hers. “Oh, Shanna, if I was using you I would be in this office with you all the time so I could keep an eye on you.” He traced a finger down the center of her chest to her abdomen. “I’d love to show you a world of mutual pleasure, but if I wanted to use you, I would have taken advantage of you last night.”

  She turned her head away from him, annoyed that he was right. If he hadn’t stopped touching her, she probably would have done something very, very … bad.

  He rested his palm on her stomach and she felt a warm glow spread from him. She was glad she was facing away so he didn’t see her face flush full red. Or feel the clench of her womb and the flood in her pussy as her body longed to see his world of pleasure.

  His body was removed from hers and she turned suddenly to him. He smiled as if he could read her mind. “I’m sorry for how I hid from my feelings and hurt you those years ago. I was stupidly noble. I won’t let you go a second time.” He bent and kissed her cheek quickly. “I’ll send Rachel with a glass of water and some pain killers.”

  She watched him leave and groaned. She’d have to face him before the end of the day, because he hadn’t come into her office for this discussion, he needed to tell her something about business.

  She laid back down giving in to her exhaustion. Her heart or her stomach flipped inside her body. And she felt the anger rise in her again. He had no right to make her feel this way. He rejected her, she moved on in her life, and now he was trying to get her back. For what reason? Because he didn’t want to run Whittikar Cabinets? Because he wanted what he couldn’t have?

  There was a tap on her door. She sat up, readying herself to give him hell. Instead, it was Rachel, holding what Gabe had promised.

  “Gabe said you needed something for your headache. You could have asked me earlier, I should have thought. I knew you went out with the guys last night.”

  “It was fine until Gabriel Brande came in here.” Well, that wasn’t true, she was fine until her boyfriend had called.

  Rachel smiled. “Ah, you two will figure it out sooner or later. The early days of a relationship are difficult.”

  “There is nothing between me and that infuriating man.” Infuriating, intoxicating, frustrating, confusing. She would do her best to avoid him for the next several days. The thought made her sad. In the past few years, she hadn’t gone more than a day without at least exchanging a half-dozen text messages.

  “Do you want one or two pills?” Her father’s long-time secretary looked amused.

  Shanna sighed and took the pill bottle. “You can put the water on the desk. Thank you, I shouldn’t have snapped at you. You were only helping.”

  “I understand. Adjusting to a new way of life can be difficult.”

  “I’m only here temporarily.”

  “If you say so.”

  Shanna felt her ire rise once more. She was too tired to care. “Thank you for the water, Rachel. Please close my office door.” She realized what she’d said. “The office door. My father’s door.”

  Shanna closed her eyes until the door closed. Tears threatened from behind her eyes. She forced them back, and when she was feeling even again, she washed the pills with the entire glass of water. Now, she needed to finish what she had been doing when Trenton called, then talk with Gabriel before she went home for supper. And, of course, there was still Trenton’s e-mail to work on.

  When she returned home, she and Trenton were going to have a discussion about his expectations. Over time, it felt like she was doing more and more of his work. She didn't usually mind, but she wondered if he would expect her to continue once she accepted a better job.

  She closed her eyes. Maybe she’d have a quick nap.

  * * *

  Gabe waited an hour to return to Shanna's office. Bryce's office. Whoever's office it was. He went in to talk with her about what she had e-mailed him about some complaints and issues.

  He knocked on her door. "She got mad at me when I offered advice," Rachel said.

  "She's upset at everyone, but she's coming to realize we are all right. If only emotionally. Anyway, she'll have a transition period. Don't take it personally. Bryce will be thrilled that she's coming around."

  Rachel smiled. "He won't be as excited as you."

  "I suppose not." He sighed and decided to go in. If she is still in a snit, his praise might calm her.

  He discovered why she hadn't answered the door or his phone call. She was fast asleep on the sofa. Her mouth was open and she was drooling. He knelt beside her and took the opportunity to stroke her hair and kiss her cheeks.

  "I love you Shanna. I know you are scared about deviating from your five-year plan, but I also know that you are beginning to realize where you belong." He traced a finger down the bridge of her nose and she batted at it and turned.

  His eyes moved down her body. He wished he could wake her with soft, intimate caresses, making love to her right on the sofa. She'd enjoy it until she became awake and reality kicked in. He sighed. Reality was, she still considered herself with Trenton, still wanted to return to Toronto.

  He stroked her cheek again and then started to move away.

  Her eyes fluttered a bit. "Gabriel?"

  His heart thudded as he brushed her hair again. "How's your head, sweetheart?"

  She reached for him. "Sleeping in the middle of the day is not a good example for the employees."

  "Unless the employees got you drunk." He took her hand.

  "I don't think they made me drink that much."

  "Oh, who cares? You had fun. Don't you dare feel guilty a
bout it."

  "What about hiding things?"

  He used his thumb to stroke her palm. As he watched her, he thought his heart might explode from overwhelming emotion. "Are you hiding things from me?"

  "Only that I'm scared to make decisions here. What if I do something wrong and ruin the whole company?"

  Oh. God, he remembered being scared like that. His first business meeting without Bryce, his first time alone in the office when Bryce was gone on vacation. He'd been so terrified that he sat shaking in his office for what felt like hours. "I wouldn't let you, and it would take more than one bad decision to ruin this place. You don't think I've screwed up and lost money? That your dad hasn't made mistakes?"

  "Of course not. You're perfect. So is he. I can't fit in here. I’ll always be in his shadow. People saying things like 'that's not how it was done when your dad was here.'" She opened her eyes and looked at him.

  "You tell them you aren't your dad. The great thing about being boss is no one gets to question your authority."

  "I have no business having authority."

  "I told you before this all started that you know more about this company than any employee, anyone except your Dad."

  "And you."

  "You know more than me, I bet. You watched it being built from the beginning. Right. I came into her because I read your e-mails."

  She covered her face with her hand that he wasn't holding and groaned. "Don't tell me how bad they were."

  He pulled her hand away. "You underestimate your abilities. I bet you've been answering Trenton's correspondence for some time. They were brilliant, most of them I sent along in response. Two needed some minor changes and two I had already replied to because they were urgent, but I wished I'd had your words instead."

  "You're just saying that to make me feel better."

  "I would never use business to make you feel better. If I wanted to make you feel better, I'd tell you how beautiful you are. Your eyes shining like the sea, your hair like gold, your skin like silk."

  She closed her eyes, but there was no mistaking the flush in her cheeks, or the pleased smile that curved her lips. He sat up and brushed his lips over hers.

  Her eyes flew open. Her lips parted then closed. She shook her head.

  He sensed another confession. "You can tell me. I'd never betray your confidence."

  "I never told Trenton about us."

  "Why does he hate me then?"

  "Because he's a little insecure. You're Gabe. There were times when I was talking to you on the phone daily because I needed a friendly voice, because I missed you so much my heart hurt."

  Because she loved him? She did back then anyway. Were those feeling still buried inside her? "I missed you, too. You have no idea how much fun I've been having since you've been back."

  She smiled. "Anyway, I never told him about the crush I had on you when I was a kid. Never told him about, y'know, that night." Oh, that stupid kiss. God, she'd never let that go. "I never told him about what happened three days ago. And I sure as hell am not going to tell him about last night."

  "He'd be mad?"

  "I don’t know." She rolled her head from side to side a few times. "I'm a horrible girlfriend, Gabe. I should call him and dump him right now. He's waiting for me and I'm out here kissing you, sleeping in your bed. Enjoying it."

  "You're enjoying it?" He brightened at her words.

  She shoved his shoulder. "Gabe."

  "I'm sorry. Should I be upset? Look Shan, you aren't married to him. We kissed. It happens. We can argue whether or not you are a horrible person for enjoying it. If he dumps you over it, he wasn't worth it. And if he doesn't want you, I certainly do."

  She sat up. "You what?"

  "We belong together, Shan. I realized that last night."

  She pulled her hand from his and stood. She paced the room, wringing her hands. She'd always had a flair for the dramatic. He hoped he wasn't grinning like a fool.

  "I'd rather think I don't belong to anyone. I can be on my own." She stopped to at glare him, hands on her hips.

  "You don't belong to me, sweetheart. You belong with me. Next to me. In the office, in my house." In my bed. He let his eyes say that, knowing she'd probably slap him.

  She jerked her gaze away.

  "Did I ever tell you why I came to see you that night?"

  "You had business in the city."

  "No I didn't. Lisa moved out that week and I couldn't face my empty house. You called and you sounded so lost."

  "Don't," she whispered.

  He pushed on. "I told you that so I didn't freak you out. I took an extra couple days off. I didn't tell anyone where I was going and I got on the next plane to Toronto. I found a hotel room and took you out for supper."

  She looked out the window, but he knew she was listening. "I remembered the same feelings when I went to school, not quite as far away, but it was still a hard time those first few months. Bryce coached me through it. I don't know if I would have graduated if he hadn't pushed me. Anyway, I needed to see you. And when I was sitting there at dinner with you, that need scared the fucking shit out of me. You were eighteen, I was at the beginning of the divorce."

  "I thought I was in love with you at sixteen when you married Lisa. And at twelve when you showed up for supper once a week."

  "I knew you had this hero worship thing with me. And once I was married to Lisa, I even laughed about your crush a few times. Then, she got jealous of the time I spent with you. But that night, Shanna the almost woman, showed up at my hotel room. We were alone, we were adults, and you kissed me."

  "And you told me no. You didn't want me then. Why the sudden change in heart now?"

  "You think I didn't want you then?" He laughed bitterly. "I wanted you so much I thought I would get sick. I couldn't kiss you, it would turn into, god, making love. You were my boss’ daughter. I was thirty, you were eighteen. I never felt so guilty in my life. It killed me to push you away."

  "I was eighteen. I was old enough to make my own decisions."

  "I couldn't, Shan."

  "So you broke my heart instead."

  "I didn't know I broke your heart. I thought I hurt your feelings a little, and I called you every week after for three months until you started talking to me again. I thought all was forgiven then."

  "It wasn't then and it isn't now. You can't come up and decide you want me, five years later. Trenton is going to propose to me. I have a life. You think, what? I'll drop everything because you suddenly figured your shit out?" She turned to him, angry as hell.

  Why were angry women so hot? Passion, he supposed.

  "I don't expect anything, but I couldn't let you go around thinking I didn't want you, I didn't love you. You needed it to make an informed decision. I won't ask you to leave Trenton for me. I never asked you to stay. But don't think I won't try to change your mind."

  "You aren't even making sense. Can you leave me alone? Please. No, maybe I should head home."

  "Shan, you can't leave. We have work to do here. I didn't come to make your life miserable, but I can put aside my personal feelings for an hour so we can answer more e-mails. Because you have a brilliant mind, and if I only have you for less than seven workdays, I need to take advantage of it while I can."

  She sighed. "Fine, my headache is gone. I can be a professional and not stab you with a pen for the next hour."

  He smiled. "Grand, login to your computer. There are some reports to go over."

  Chapter 6

  Gabe.

  Shanna pushed her blankets down and threw her legs over the side of her bed. It was well after midnight, she should be exhausted, but every time she closed her eyes, she could see brown eyes staring into her soul. She would hear his words over and over. "I wanted you then, so much it hurt. It killed me to push you away. Don't think I won't try to change your mind."

  There was a part of her that wanted to take his hand and give in. Until she and Trenton got serious, moving home, working at Whittikar
Cabinets and being with Gabe was all she'd ever dreamed about. It was all she ever wanted. Part of her wanted that dream to come true, because Gabe had all but promised it to her.

  She fell back on the bed, recalling the way his hands had felt on her. The way she used to fantasize about him. In her fantasies, it always went further. All the way to bed, then the altar.

  She groaned. It wasn't fair. Five years after he'd stomped on her dreams. Now he wanted to make them come true. He expected she'd change all her plans for him. He had to expect he would win, or he wouldn't bother. Gabriel Brande did not do anything halfway. He never took no for an answer, it was the start of a negotiation.

  She tiptoed down the stairs, wanting to stomp, to whine, to run across town and throw herself into Gabe’s arms. His bed. His life.

  Those last ones, she needed to stomp down right away. Or kick them across the country, right into the ocean.

  In the kitchen, she turned the kettle on for tea. Normally, when she was up in the middle of the night she would text Gabe with her problems. He'd reply in the morning with a rational solution and she could feel better about her day. It was tempting not to text him now. Up in the middle of the night because of you. Wouldn't that spur him on?

  What would he reply? She mused while she leaned against the counter. Good. Means you are taking me seriously. She was taking him seriously, wasn't she?

  Steam poured out of the kettle. Shanna removed it from the heat and dumped the water over the tea bag. She took the mug to the table to let it steep.

  What frustrated her most, about everything, was how easy it was to be with Gabe. When she looked at him, she saw home and comfort. She could depend on him. When he spoke her name, her heart soared. When he touched her, shivers went down her spine.

  She'd spent far too much of her life trying not to imagine what it would be like if he touched her intimately. Would she tremble, swoon, or lay back and open herself for more?

  She shook her head. She need space, to get away from him. Not get closer.

  Trenton. A good dose of Trenton would solve things. She got her cell phone from her purse and texted him. He wouldn't be up, he had a strict bedtime policy. Even on weekends. After the text had been sent, she opened the latest file he'd sent– the presentation parameters he'd been given. Could she type him a template?